That’s why some people may want to get back together with an old partner, or to try and stick it out with their current one. They often grow more distant, and more like roommates than they are spouses or lovers.” Some couples “find it too hard to talk about or work on differences around key problems. “Most marriages or relationships end by ice instead of fire,” says McNulty. Long-lasting, slow-burning issues are the real relationship poison – not big, explosive, single events or confrontations. McNulty says, according to Gottman Institute research, these perpetual differences make up 69% of the problems most couples face in a relationship. Even happy couples have them, since a relationship is always fundamentally two different people with different personalities and worldviews. These are points of possible conflict, like navigating a shared living space, money, sex, kids, friends, family and more. McNulty says every romantic relationship has “perpetual differences”.

“There can be some real advantages to really knowing a partner well before giving a long-term relationship a try again,” says Michael McNulty, a couples therapist in Chicago and trainer at the Gottman Institute, an organisation that studies relationships and offers counseling. One of the biggest upsides of re-entering a former relationship is that you mostly know what you’re getting into. The pandemic has even accelerated this process for some: amid a global health crisis and lonely, sexless lockdowns, many people found themselves reaching out to an ex, hoping to find that old spark.Įxperts say that, if both former partners are interested, pulling a ‘Bennifer’ of your own can yield positive benefits – if you’re willing to put in a lot of work, and have an open mind. Plus, research suggests the amount of couples who break up and get back together is as high as 50%. But rebuilding a relationship can also be a tempting venture and even a goal for some people, especially when the success stories sound like something out of a fairy tale. That reality can be negative – one filled with cautionary tales and former partners who can’t take a hint.

They’re a power couple, and tabloids and Twitter users alike can’t look away.īut perhaps the most relatable reason regular people are so fascinated by what’s otherwise a celebrity-gossip story is that exes found love again.įor many, navigating ex-partners is a reality of romance. Earlier this summer, 17 years after they split, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got back together – and triggered an internet avalanche of early 2000s nostalgia, glamorous celebrity intrigue and cultural analyses.

Still in love with ex